2019 was a year of lasts for me. I was recovering from a broken relationship where I had to pick up the pieces of my life again. As a single mom, I felt the nostalgia throughout the year, being aware of a few lasts with my son’s primary school years ending. His last primary school concert, his last rugby match (you get the picture).
During the start of 2020, we moved to a new town in preparation for him to start high school life and for my new job. It felt like we just started settling in after being uprooted from our support system in wonderful neighbours and friends, also saying goodbye to life, walking distance from the beach, when the Covid epidemic hit the world with shock waves.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have imaged life in times like this. For a while I was paralyzed with fear. What ifs filled my thoughts. Literally everything was uncertain in the way I lived my life. What if I lose my job and can’t provide for my son? What if I get sick? What if he gets exposed to this? What if the school doesn’t open for the rest of the year? And the list goes on.
I felt anxious, overwhelmed and powerless all at once, drowning in my own what if’s.