An Interview with an (extra)ordinary woman who is finding HOLLY GRAIL in every minute of her life. She paints, creates clothes, she writes music and poetry, she takes breath-taking photos. She is one of us. The woman with a great potential, who will tell you how not to waste it.
What are you seeking Agnieszka?
I associate ‘searching’ with navigating from the place of lack, so I can easily say that I do not search. I have already found. I keep finding. Every time I find something, I set another goal and I set a path to find it. Those goals are optional, they are not set in stone, they are an addition to my current state of being. They are like precious accessories to the fabulous ME. They do not define who I am, they enhance my already great look. I have everything. With such a mindset of abundance, that is already present in my life, every success is just a success, just another precious stone in my gold bracelet. I look at the failure in the same way. Failure is just a failure. Those are just words that I can add to my favourite phrase that is enough on its own – ‘I AM’. I do not give those additional words any extra meaning, I do not make them bigger than the phrase I AM. I AM is always more important than any word that comes with it. In such a way my state of mind is calm and thanks to that calmness I can experience my live more consciously. If we replace the word ‘search’ to ‘experience’, I would say that I experience freedom, happiness and constant development, and because I come from the present moment that means I already have it, in every minute of my life. Setting up goals helps me to develop in some areas on a deeper level and experience a new direction. Looking at my life events in this way I explore further my creative passions like sewing, painting, singing, taking photos, writing music, riding a bicycle, re-furbishing furniture, writing, travelling … etc.
What would you advise women who are afraid of change and new challenges?
Getting out of your comfort zone for some is easy for others is almost impossible. If you come from the position I am already enough, then you do not feel the pressure to change and it is helpful for you to stay where you are or move slowly with love and patience. Try slowly improving what you already have or know, take tiny steps forward. To women, who are paralysed by fear of change I would recommend to reflect, again with love and not critique, on why you are afraid, what is stopping you, what is important to you and why. Is overcoming new limitations, which will take me to bigger and more challenging goals, my priority now? Is my calm state of mind and developing the skills I already have more important? It is also useful to consider where our limitations and negative self-talk comes from? My past experiences? My family’s past experiences? The society I live in. In those cases, we can replace them with our own positive experiences and positive self-analysis.
What would you recommend to a person that feels stuck?
Take small steps but take them. Do not sit and do nothing. I understand that sometimes you need to have some rest and regain your energy and strength back. Just make sure you do not stay in that state of rest for too long as it will turn into frustration and feeling of being stuck. In that state you can be susceptible to health problems, developing fears or phobias. So, remember any action is better than no action.
Let us talk about perfectionism. Is it a bad thing? Are you a perfectionist?
Perfectionism is bad for you if your intention or self-talk is negative. If by trying to be perfect you tell yourself that you are horrible or nobody, then perfectionism is dreadful. If you tell yourself that you try to develop, to learn more, then perfectionism is your empowering force that enables your creativity and enriches your life. You need to be careful though as there is a thin line between those two. I know it, as I crossed that line and that is why I understand the difference. I was the person who through striving to achieve perfectionism ended up with mental and physical problems, who was making herself unhappy. My cure was to let go of frustrations and expectations and focusing on enjoying the perfect moment of now and here, the perfect creation of this moment so I can allow more perfect moments to come and enjoy. Pressure, overly high expectations, frustrations of not achieving what we planned in the first place and rejecting all other precious experiences we have gained in the process is very unhealthy.
How to deal with all those project that we tried to achieve, and they turned out to be a failure?
I started many projects and some of them I have not completed, due to various reasons: financial – they required too big investment and in that time I could not afford it; too exhausting physically – my body was not ready to handle the required effort; mentally – I was not ready to do it. Many projects I have finished, some almost did not happen, but somehow, I have pulled through. It all depends on our current situation and out state of mind. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes it is hard. If the project feels too painful and instead of giving me growth and satisfaction it frustrates me, and I suffer – I would reconsider finishing it. I always ask myself if it is still worth to continue. You can achieve it and ruin your health – would that be a success? On the other hand, continuously starting projects that we cannot complete may also be rooted in lack of discipline. So, we need to reflect on what is causing this decrease in our interest and focus. Projects and goals should be based on conscious decisions and not just emotional whim. If, we want to buy a house we need to check thoroughly our financial situation and not base it on some vague dream. Building our goals on emotional whim is a recipe for a failure. Remember to keep trying and keep exploring.
Author: Agnieszka Machnikowska